Dibitalia
by Pure Aura-Chan
Summary: When America gets food poisoning, the countries are desperate to find another American to represent him in the upcoming World Council Meeting. But is Paranormal Investigator Dib Membrane up for the challenge? T for Language. Please Read&Review. ONESHOT.


_**Dibitalia**_

America picked up the phone and began awkwardly laughing. "Hahaha, 'bout the meeting…"

"Don't say you can't come, you lazy bum." Japan warned through the phone.

America rubbed his head. "I sorta overdid it on the fast food and…" he looked over at the trash can filled with McDonald's burger wrappers. "I got food poisoning-"

"Well it's your own fault." Japan intervened. "No matter how many times we tell you to stop eating them, you don't. Now how exactly do you plan to attend the World Council Meeting?"

"I don't."

Japan leaned into the phone even more. "YOU LAZY AMERICANS ALWAYS WIMP OUT OF SERIOUS SITUATIONS LIKE THIS! WE _NEED _YOU FOR THE COUNCIL!"

America held back a gag as Tony, his alien friend, got him a bucket. "Blurrrrgggggg!"

Japan hung up in disgust and stared at the phone blankly. He then called Germany.

"Mmmm?" Germany asked.

"Our lazy American friend can't make it to the Council."

Germany put his hand over his face and slid it down. "Wonderful. Just wonderful. At least now he can't recommend horrendous ideas that involve him being the hero."

"Germany-san, no matter how right you are, we have to find another American to take his place." Japan suggested. "There could possibly be one in your country. Or I could check here."

Germany grumbled. "Well, I could ask Italy." He looked behind him at the door. A large package was beside it. "It looks like Britain and France sent him back."

The two men ended their phone call as Germany got up and walked over to the package. He raised an eyebrow and poked it. The box began to rock back and forth.

"Please don't hurt me Germany! I'm sorry I couldn't spy on them, but they outsmarted me! I even tried to cook in a French restaurant but I guess my love PASTA~ gave it away!" Italy pleaded.

Germany slapped another stamp on the box that would ship him off to Italy. The box began to flail wildly. Germany put his hands on his hips.

"I have a job for you, Italy. I need you to go back to your own country and look for an American to represent America in the upcoming Council meeting."

"Anything, sir, to redeem myself!"

Germany pulled back his leg, and then kicked the box as hard as he could. Italy went flying.

* * *

Dib was walking down a not-so-crowded road in Rome. It was a miracle he could spend his 15th birthday in Italy. His dad was awarded for yet another scientific discovery and the family was flown out to Rome to attend the ceremony. On the other hand, he didn't speak much Italian but luckily, many spoke English.

The award ceremony was in a few days, so Dib decided to roam off and go sightseeing on his own.

"Now… which way to the café…?" Dib kept flipping the map around trying to read the directions.

Down the road, Italy was bounding from person to person asking, "Are you American? Are you American? Are you American? Are you American?" He finally approached Dib. "Are you American?"

Dib blinked a few times and stepped back. "If I were to say yes, what-!" Italy grabbed hold of his arm.

"Hooray! Now Germany won't chain me to the wall-"

"What?"

"YEAH!" Italy smiled and continued dragging Dib along the street.

Dib tried to pull away with all of his might. "HEY! Where are you taking me? Who are you?"

Italy stopped and pointed to himself. "I'm Italy! Germany told me to look for an American to represent America in the upcoming Worlds Council Meeting!"

Dib finally broke free of Italy's grasp and rubbed his wrists. "But I'm only 15! I don't know anything about politics!"

"Oh that's fine! We pretty much talk about useless stuff anyways!"

Dib's eyes widen. "You what!"

"VEH~!" Italy grabbed hold of him again.

"Noooooo! Let go of me!" He then sighed and gave up. "What did I get myself into…?"

* * *

Lead by the overly annoying Italy, Dib stepped into the meeting room awestricken. There were probably over 30 countries at the large circular table. A man with short blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and green uniform walked up to him and Italy.

"Look-ay at who I brought!" Italy raised Dib's hand. "I found him on the street."

Germany's eyes twitched. "Given, I asked you to bring an American, but…"

Dib pulled his hand away and clenched his fist. "HEY! I'm just a 15-year old boy! I'm probably not the best person to represent a COUNTRY!"

Germany grinned at his response. "You have spunk… I like that, kid. What's your name?"

"Dib Membrane."

His eyes flickered. "Membrane, eh? Are you Prof. Membrane's son by any chance?"

Dib adjusted his glasses. "_Yes_."

Germany slapped him on the back and ushered him to America's seat. "There kiddo. The meeting begins in an hour. Enjoy." He turned around to leave, but glanced back behind him. "Oh, and by the way, nice clothes."

Dib looked down at his black trench coat, dark blue unsmiling shirt, black skinny jeans, and black boots. He sighed. "Yeah… okay."

He ran his fingers through his hair and began to wander around the room. He could tell the different countries apart by the small badges of everyone's flag on their clothes. But before he got too far, he went back to his seat and snatched the American flag badge and pinned it on his shirt.

A beautiful lady with long brown hair approached him with a metal tray of drinks. "Oh, hello, you must be representing America. I'm Hungary. Would you like a drink?"

Dib blushed. "N-no thank you." Though, after walking away, it occurred to him that this could be a once- in-a-lifetime educational experience.

He came up to a man with short red-ish hair that had a large curl to the side.

"Oh hi," Dib said warmly. "Which country are you?"

South Italy waved his hand. "Suck my balls you stupid American."

Dib was baffled as South Italy walked away. But, another man came up to him. He had a darker skin tone and was overly muscular.

Cuba cracked his knuckles. "So, American, pull a false move and I'll tear your little gothic heart out of your chest and feed it to the nations for dinner.

_GAH! What does America do to make these people so mad! _Dib high-tailed it from Cuba. THUD!

Dib, shaking, looked up at the tall figure. The man had a large but beyond creepy smile on his face and soft indigo eyes.

"Why hello little child," Russia's eyes flickered. "It appears as if we had new meat for the council."

"AHHHHHHH!" Dib ran away as fast as he could from Russia.

Ukraine popped up beside Russia. "Little brother, why do like scaring the countries away?"

Russia turned to his older sister with the smile still stuck upon his face. "Because Dear Sister, I love seeing the never-ending reactions of our dear friends and since America is skipping out on the meeting, I wanted to warm myself up to disturb him greatly when I see him again. That burger loving brat is going to wish I was never born."

Ukraine laughed and patted her brother on the back and skipped away, her boobs bouncing up and down wildly. Dib made 100% sure he turned away before he got a nosebleed. Blushing wildly, he yet again bumped into someone. But, when he put his glasses back on, he realized no one was there.

"A… ghost…?"

Canada became visible. "You can see me! I exist!" He quickly shook hands with Dib, but gasped. "You're America!"

"N-no, I'm Dib. I'm filling in for America for the meeting."

Canada gave him a huge hug. "No torture! I love you!" Dib raised an eyebrow and slowly pushed Canada away.

"_ORDER!_"

All eyes bolted to Germany. He had his hands on the table and eyes furious. The countries scattered to their seats. Dib was seated next to England and his "best friend" Canada. From across the table were South Italy's eyes like daggers at Dib.

"I, Germany, call the World's Council Meeting to order."

France crossed his arms and glared at Germany. "Why do _you _get to call the meeting, huh?"

"Because the rest of you are wusses." He stated flatly.

The room grew silent.

"Why's everyone so quiet?" Sealand asked.

The Allies turned their attention to Dib. "It's about time that America would jump in and say something totally irrelevant." China said with a smile.

Dib looked around at the countries. "Uh, sorry, but I'm not like that."

Whispers flew through the countries, but the meeting resumed. Switzerland began the topic upon security and police forces, but England intervened and the two would have gotten into a fist fight if it wasn't for Liechtenstein's gentle pleading. Dib sighed and looked at the different countries.

Belarus was clawing at Russia while tears streamed out of his eyes. Hungary was trying to serve refreshments to everyone and Austria was shuffling through papers with an annoyed glare out of the corner of his eyes at Spain who was fast asleep with Greece at his side, also asleep.

Dib nudged Canada. "Hey, why are those two asleep?"

Canada hugged his polar bear tightly. "They always do that, but are somehow able to retain the information said here like a sponge to water."

Dib noticed Italy drawing spaghetti for he was a few chairs down from him. South Italy was jabbing at France who was jabbing at England. England began talking to himself, but Dib saw who he was really talking to. A leprechaun was in front of England chatting up a conversation about rainbows. Dib shuddered at the thought.

Sealand raised his hand. "Actually sir, on the topic of extraterrestrials, I saw a UFO a few nights ago pass over my country while I was riding on the goat to swab the deck."

Dib froze up as a sly smile crept across his face. His light brown eyes lit up.

"If it's aliens you want to talk about, then I'm the right person to come to." Dib's voice rang out. Everyone looked at him. He stood up.

"You see, I'm a Paranormal Investigator. I've encountered more than you could ever expect. Heck, I've even been hunting down an alien for years: ZIM. Abductions, Time Machines, giant robots, you name it. _That's _what I've been through."

Cuba huffed. "Oh great, first we get America and his gray friend Tony, but now we have Goth- boy here and his insanity." Others nodded.

Dib face- palmed and sat back down. Russia's face showed sadness as with others that have taken a liking to this new "America".

After the aggravating meeting, Dib took his trench coat off and slung it over his shoulder. Germany, Canada, Italy, Russia, Hungary, Sealand, Japan, and England came up to him after the meeting before he left. All of them had kind smiles on their faces.

"I'm impressed by your knowledge, Dib-san." Japan complimented. "Your knowledge of the Paranormal, Historical Events, and surprisingly, Future Events, is extraordinary."

Dib cracked a grin. They had noticed his participation in the meeting. "Thanks."

Germany handed him a card. "Actually, we can't thank you enough. You gave us the information we needed about The United State's current condition. That's all we needed, but you gave us more. Here's a card."

Dib looked at it confused. "For what?"

England put his hand on his hip. "Given, you may not be a nation, but you're a cool kid and smart for your age."

Dib smiled but a loud thud made everyone jump. America, in his pajamas, burst through the large doors.

"Am I too late?" he shouted.

The group tried to put their smiles back on, but they were weary. America went up to Dib and adjusted his glasses.

"So, I take it he was my replacement. Nice to finally meet'ca, Dib Membrane."

Dib blinked a few times. "Ho-how do you know who I am?"

America smirked. "You've called into the FBI too many times about the paranormal that I've come across your name once or twice."

Dib groaned, but once he made it to the doors, we looked back at his new friends and waved. "I'll see you guys soon I hope!"

* * *

Later that day…

"Dad, you have to believe me! This morning, a pasta loving boy claiming to be a nation dragged my across the country to a World's Council Meeting with dozens of nations as people! And it involved aliens and goats and leprechauns… God does this sound crazy."

Prof. Membrane nodded. "My poor insane son.

* * *

_**Author's Notes: I hope you really enjoyed this idea of a crossover that I believe hasn't been done yet. I'M #1! I really liked writing this, so I, once again, hope you enjoyed reading this. It took a long time to write considering school's been a hastle. *Sigh***_

_**Please Review! {Thanks For Reading!}**_


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